Nicholas Cage beats isis
by kachow2006
Summary: Nicholas and Lightning Mcqeen go on a awesome road trip to the capital of america to stop terorist from blowing up the world,
1. Chapter 1

September 9th, 2001

One morning Nicolas Cage woke up in his bed inside his big mansion which is really big like my moms and he has a really awesome snake. Sleeping right next to him was Mr. Krabs. Mr. Krabs looked up from his really nasty pillow. "good morning Nicolas cage" Mr. Krabs said with a smile. "Good morning Eugine Krabs" Nicolas Cage said. Mr. Crabs taking off the sheets of the bed to get up revealed his really awesome abs and cool peks. He lifted his leg sexily and asked Nicolas what he wanted for breakfast. Nicolas Cage answered "could I have some chicken nuggerts and smily fries? Do we have any gogurts left?" Eugine Krabs stared deeply into Nicolas Cage's big nutella-colored eyes licking his lips and said "ok dad". Oh yeah I forgot to explain Nicolas Cage is Eugine Krabs' dad. Anyway Eugine Krabs went to go make breakfast. Nicolas Cage rose out of his bed and look at the picture frame on the beauru. He got up and picked up the picture of him, eugine krabs, and Markiplier. "damn he was so hot. It's too bad he cheated on me with Pewdiepie and Captain Sparklez than died in the war" Nicolas Cage said remembering about all the great sexes he did.

After Nicolas Cage stepped out of the bathroom after taking a huge poop he stepped into the kitchen which smelled like my dad after he drinks. He started ripping into his food. After finishing Nicolas Cage said "wow this food was good thank you so much Mr. Krabs". "your really welcome I love you ddad" eugine krabs said giving Nicolas cage the sex eyes. They were about to have a smooch but then the doorbell rang like mom when she calls me up for dinner. Nicholas Cage went to go get the door.


	2. Chapter 2

Nicholas Cage walked up to the door and then opened it to see who it was. President Obama was at the door and he also didn't have a shirt on. The morning sun was shining on his oiled negro chest. "Cage" said Obama. "Obama" says Nicholas Cage. Obama was holding a very big fire hose in his huge African hands. Obama told Cage "You know what to do". Cage grasped the large fire hose from President Obamas hands and ran very fast to his caar which wasalso Lightning MacQueen from my favorite movie cars. Lightning Mcqueen said to Nicholas Cage before he entered the car "Hey Nicholas Cage do you want an adult drink". Yeah sure" said Nicholas cage. Lightning Mcqueen handed Nicholas Cage a cold sunny d. he turned on Lightning Mcqueen and looked to his side and asked meela kuniz "do you trust me? Like in aladin". Yup said mila kunis showing her phat boobz. They speeded away toward Washington dc. They were going really fast like 2000 miles so they were far away from the house. Then President Obama walked in and saw Mr. Krabs at the table eating chicken nuggets. dishappy gave Obama the looks like my parents give when they want to get sex. Mr Krabs eyes glazed down President Obamas shirtless shiny hot and black body. He was ready.


	3. Chapter 3

KACHOW. Lighting Mcqueen was running out of car food and needed to stop at the gastation that was on the way to Washington dc. Nicolas Cage pulled intothe station and went to get gas and he saw jhon sena washing the batmobile in his underwar, scrubbing it toroughly. Nicolas cage eyed john cena's sweaty pointy nipples and then stopped at the closest gas hose. Mila kunis was being naughty and wanted the secks with Nicolas Cage. "KACHOW this is delicious" said lightning mcqueen.

Nicolas cage went up to john cena to ask for some gas but could not keep his eyes off his body. John vena said "for a few more money u can get more than just gas ;)". Nicolas Cage followed john cena into the backroom for some hot fuck. John Cena and Nicolas Cage were kissing in the bathroom. John Cena pulled down his pants, but there was no penis. "where is your penis" said Nicolas cage. "you can't see me !" said john cena, running away into the sunset naked. "I still want the sex" said Nicolas cage waking out of the bathroom with an big erecton. His erection was as big as my dog. Meila kunez came up to Nicolas cage and starting touching his penis. "get the fuck of me you slimy cunt" Nicolas cage said beating her. "we don't have time for cooties we have to get to dc to save the 9/11. Do you really want to let president Obama down". Meila kunez obeyed his coemand and lighting mc quenn and them left the gastation.


	4. Chapter 4

Eugine krabs was pinned up against the wall of his sweet house. President Obama pushed his smoked jerkey into mr. krab's firm poophole. His poophole was wanting some penis. Mr. Krabs then barked like my dog as he was being sexed by president Obama. Mr crabs pulled out the huge cock and firmly grasped it with his big meaty claws and started pulling his vainy rod. "do me good mr. president said mr. krabs". Obama finished inside Mr Krab's mouth! Eugine Krabs then went to go take a huge poop. After he was done releasing the load, eugine krabs came back out to talk to Obama. Obama's big black chest was cuddled with eugine krabs as steam rose off of them. Eugine krab's belly was fat. "I am pregnant" said Eugine krabs. "I will have your baby". "that is so wonderful" said Obama. "I hope it is not a girl because girls are gross".


	5. Chapter 5

Today is September 11th, 2005. Nicolas cage and mila kunis with lightning mcqueen pulled up to the 9/11 building. "we must stop the **TERRORIST** " said Nicolas cage. "stay out here where it is safe this is a job only a man can do". He grabbed the firehose and approached the 9/11 towers but the door was locked so he started to climb the building. A plane then crashed into lightning mcqueen and meila kunis die. KACHOW said lightning mcqueen as he emerged from the explosion unharmed. Nicolas Cage looked down and was very happy to see that lightning mcqueen was ok. He then climbed into a window and saw a plane come towards the 9/11. He quickly pulled out his large firehose and then saw Obama driving the plane. "you damn bastard I knew you were behind this all along ISIS scum!" said Nicolas cage. "how dud you stop my plot? John cena was supposed to kill you!" said Obama. "love will never kill" said Nicolas cage. Obama replied with "your going to die now! Btw I pregnanted your son LOL!". Obama fired minions (the stupid annoying ones) stapped with dynamite at nicolas cage, but Nicolas cage shot them down with his hose because he is cool. Nicolas cage looked and said "die you liberal scum!". Nicolas cage fired an explosive spurt of water at the plane and blows up the plane and kills Obama and all the minions because my little brother andy likes minions and I hate andy. Nicolas cage saved the world from 9/11. He then walked down to lightning mcqueen as the people on Washington dc chered because he saved everyone. "I am so glad your ok lightning mcqueen" said Nicolas cage. "I am ok but meila kunis died" said lightning mcqueen. Oh no. Nicolas cage looked off into the sunset, where markiliper appeared. "I thought you died" said Nicolas cage. "but love never dies" said markiplier. They then started to kiss and slowly walked home.

"Every great story seems to begin with a snake." ~Nicolas Cage

Author's notes-

Mr krabs gave birth to michelle Obama LOL

If you see my little brother andy please punch him because he is annoying.

Thank you for reading my first fanfic! I hope you enjoyed. I spent lots of time thinking about the character and who I should ship but I think it all camed together in the end ^_^


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